EXPLORING THE IMPACT OF UPBRINGING ON THE FORMATION AND WAYS OF EXPRESSING PREFERRED LOVE LANGUAGE

Abstract

Understanding how a person expresses love is not solely about observing others, but also requires observing ourselves to figure out how we want to be loved. Using autoethnographic method and the framework of love languages by Gary Chapman (2015), the study analyzes my love languages to find out how mine are formed through my parents' primary love languages influences. Furthermore, the concept of love languages extends beyond family bonds to intimate relationships, so this autoethnography also explores the expression of love languages in my romantic relationship to understand how I receive and demonstrate my concern towards my partner. Besides the preferred love languages inherited from my parents, the desire for another distinct type of love language is discovered during the process of being in a romantic relationship. This demonstrates that people can long for experiencing an unfamiliar love language expression due to their lack of exposure to that particular love language type from their parents. Therefore, by understanding the differences among people’s preferences for expressing their care and love towards others, I conclude that it is necessary to learn how to appreciate the differences and embrace the need of mutual understanding to help people maintain their relationships.